Empty Bed

Chango and I have been together for 10 years. Out of those 10 years we have been living together for 9.5 years. Every night when I laid my self down to bed he was right there by my side. Even during the 2 years that he worked grave yard he would come home and lay in bed right next to me. So when he decided this year to become a truck driver and be 48 states otr (over the road) I started to panic. At first I felt like I could do it, then I was like no I can't, I went back and forth about it. The day he left, I was at work. He came to tell me bye, spent some time with me then left to go catch his bus. That night I thought was the hardest night of my life, I went home and cried. But I didn't fully let myself cry, I told my self to suck it up, that we would have to live alone for a little while. Then he came home for a brief time and left and once again I cried. He came home again and left again and I cried, again. But the one thing that I can not get used to is my empty bed. This last time that he came and left that night I crawled into bed with my back facing his side of the bed. And what did I do, the little backwards shuffle to feel his body next to mine. But no matter how much I shuffled I didn't feel it, his side was empty, and so I cried. I cried and hoped that if I put my hand behind me I would feel him, and of coarse no one was there. An so I cried some more. It wasn't until I called his dog onto the bed, shes a pit bull, that I was able to go to sleep. Her big body laying against my back gave me enough comfort to get to sleep. I can handle coming home to an empty house, cooking for one, going to the store by myself, throwing the trash. But the one thing I can not handle and I don't think I will every get used to, is that empty bed...well at least it will be empty till the next time he comes home!