Nauvoo Temple

            As the months in the year fly by, my heart is starting to grow heavy.  June is around the corner and my church family takes their camping trip to Nauvoo, Ill to visit the beautiful city and to attend the beautiful temple.  A couple of years ago, I worked so hard to get to the temple to do baptism for the dead and to be a proxy for my sister.  That was the first time I was worthy to enter into the temple, the peacefulness that was felt, the love…no words can describe it! I yearn to feel that again, no earthly thing can come 1/8 close to those feelings I had in the temple.  And the Spirit was felt so strongly, it hit me so bad that all I could do was weep.  And weep I did, couldn’t explain the reason why to anyone, all I could do was let the tears fall from my eyes and cry like I was a small child in my mother’s arms.  Outside the temple, the “old” city was so wonderful.  The houses are the same as they were back when the Saints were living there, they had pageants of when the saints were there in Nauvoo, old pioneer games, plays.  What fun it was! I am so glad I went, I had such a wonderful time.

            BUT the earthly fun is not why I am being drawn to that city again or why I even want to return.  There is a strong spiritual draw that is coming from the Temple, maybe it’s not the temple.  Maybe it is something else, someone that is beyond the grave, Or maybe it is my Heavenly Father whispering in my ear, “My child this is what you must do.” And how do I do it? How do I prepare myself in just 3 months to be worthy to go?  I am the one that has to do it, I can’t have anyone else do it for me.  I have to make the steps, no one can pull me alone.  I have to make the sacrifice, I have to do it.  I cannot do it alone, I have to have the power and strength from my Heavenly Father.

            AND when I do, I must have the strength to endure to the end.  Once I become worthy to enter the temple again, I must not falter and become not worthy for if I do I will be mocking God.  I do not want to mock him, I do not want to disappoint him anymore that I have. Maybe that is why I haven’t put my whole heart into starting the process, the fear of disappointing my Heavenly Father more than what I have.