Not that great season

It seems like December is not a great month for my family (on my mom's side).  Actually it seems like none of the holidays are a great season for my family. Come, December, 31st, it will mark the 20th year anniversary of my mom's death.  I am so not looking forward to that day at all, haven't looked forward to the New Year since she passed.  I try to make it the same ol' thing, just another day.  December 24th marked the 15th year since my Aunt Liz passed away, who is my mother's sister.  They passed 5 years apart and of the same thing, the dreaded two word phrase, breast cancer.  My family also lost my Aunt Bella, who is the wife to my mom's brother Jonathan, earlier this year.  When I thought that all the pain and hurt over loosing someone in my family was gone and done for this year we get hit again with another death.  Early Christmas Morning my cousin, Jesse or as we knew him chewy, was taken from this earth and sent home to be with his mom and the rest of the family that has passed. When you have a family member that is sick and battling an illness it almost prepares you for their death because you just know it is coming, like the case of my mom and aunts.  But Jesse’s death was sudden, unexpected, not foreseen by anyone but our Heavenly Father.  And I think that is what makes it hurt so much more.  When we were young my family was closer than what it is now.  My mom was like the glue to the family and every year we would have Thanksgiving and Christmas together, her other siblings would make the drive from Arizona to come and visit us more often and even my Great Grandpa would come every now and then from Kansas to see us.  It just seemed like everyone flocked around my mother, maybe it was because of her loving spirit.  After she passed it seemed like the family just fell away from each other, we all went our separate ways, and now they are just a memory that is in my head with a glimpse of how they look every now and then in my head.  I know for a fact soon we all will just be a memory then fade to a name and a, oh yeah wasn’t so and so related to us way back when.  In time we will be just a name that pops up every now and then when our ancestor’s decide to do our genealogy, or when someone wanders the cemetery and notices our name in the cement wondering who we were and what we did.   But you know what, no matter what happens to me, if I become a memory or just plain vanish from the planet all together I do know one thing.  I may be gone but I will still live on, and I will be living in heaven with my Heavenly Father and my earthly parents.  Some think that when we pass we will not know each other, that our family units that we have here on earth will no longer be the same in heaven.  I think differently, I have a strong feeling because my love is so deep for my mother, and my dad, that when it is my turn to leave this earth I will be greeted by my mom. She will know me and I will know her!  I think we will all know each other when we get to heaven, that we will not forget whom who is.  But I guess I will have to wait and see, when it is My turn.

Till we meet again

Estrada family:

Jose Estrada 05/03/1947-08/03/1947

Juanita Calderon Estrada 05/27/1924-05/07/1971

Jose CueVas Estrada 03/19/1891-04/01/1979

Rose Estrada Luna 03/06/1945-12/31/1992

Elizabeth Estrada Murillo 03/24/1946-12/24/1997

Jesus Calderon 09/15/1900-05/12/1998

Flavia Barrientos 04/14/1944-10/03/2009

Arabella Estrada 12/01/1953-07/09/2012

Jesus Molina 10/28/1975-12/25/2012

Luna Family:

Stella Ann Ruiz 03/30/1958-01/10/1977

Celso Lara Luna 04/06/1896-08/13/1979

Frederick Martinez 03/02/1939-03/28/2006

Juana Francisca Luna 06/15/1932-12/2007