Do I worry too much?

With Chango out on the road driving,it seems like I am always wondering if he is okay. I worry if he is getting enough sleep, if he is pushing his self beyond what is needed. Then there is the worst worry of all...What if he gets into an accident. I worry about him so much when I read on the internet, or others post in the groups I belong to about an accident involving a big rig. It drives me insane with worry. I hate to see them. A I worring to much?? Am I letting myself go crazy? Should I not think about it? (of coarse I shouldn't but am not going to think about it?) He already gave me two scares. He called up saying he has been in an accident. Me I start thinking the worst, truck totalled or it was serious enough to send him to the hospital. But nope, none of the above, just some trailer damage. Thats all. And then there has been some bad, horrible, news about trainers and students dieing. When he was in training he told me about a student that was asleep and the trainer was driving on the students drive clock, the trainer was tired but instead of stopping to rest the trainer continued driving, fell asleep and crashed killing the student and the trainer died a few days later in the hospital. Then about three weeks ago there was a report of 4 more accidents, one involving a trainer being killed while the student was driving. Yeah, with him now being a trainer, this is starting a new worry.I just need to stop my worries, but I think it's because I love him that I worry about him so much!

I think I might try this thing....

Well I have been thinking of maybe trying to blog my thoughts...it's been really hard this past month and I feel like I have no one to really talk to. Or maybe I just don't know how to talk to them.  Sometimes it feels like no one knows what I am going through, but other times it feels like I shouldn't try to burden others with my problems.  The month of July was not the best month, I am hoping August will be a lot better!! The major thing that has happened is that Chango leased a truck.  Bad part is that he was broken down for 2 weeks, and he had two students that were awful.  So we haven't gotten a paycheck on his side, bills are piling up, and what I make is only enough to feed him while he is on the road.  It stresses me out but at the same time I am trying not to let it.  But this is not what I wanted.  I told him not to lease but when we talked it out I didn't stand my ground.  But what can I do, we are in this thing now and the only hope is that we can somehow get back on track.  
I think my mind is trying to put me in a state of depression because I am getting tired and wanting to sleep a lot, and also I am not wanting to do anything. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to talk to people, I just want to stay in my home with my pain in the butt animals.  I even talked to Chango to see if when he is making enough money if I can stay home and be a home lady.  (Since we don't have kids I can't say a stay at home mom).  Lucky he said yes I can, but when will that be?  
I like my little town of Waverly, but it can get on my nerves.  I guess you can say I am spoiled by having everything in my town or at least close enough it doesn't take long to get to it.  Here in Waverly there is nothing but a gas station and the small grocery store I work at.  If I want to go to wal-mart, I have to travel about 30 minutes away, same for the bank and Taco Bell, Mc Donalds, you name it its far away.  And the winter months are not that far away, think about driving that in snow...ugh.  I do like it here, but I want to move back home.  Tulare for crying out loud, what is in Tulare? Dairies and fields. Nothing special.  Heck when we were on our way moving here to Missouri I wanted to stay in Tulare.  I wish we could have moved back home then.  Hopefully in the future I will.  For the future holds things unknown.  I must be patient and see what tomorrow brings.